Your War with Lust: 6 Hurting Your Life II

Sinful lust promises you pleasure,

but will cost you so much more pain

Proverbs 6:26

Week 3

► For a God Time use the “P.O.W.E.R. Plan” in Appendix A.

► After reading this chapter, answer the following questions:

1) How does sinful lust deny your identity?

2) How does sinful lust degrade your body?

3) How can pornography make you an addict?

4) What was most meaningful to you in this chapter? Why?

For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread,
And an adulteress hunts for the precious life.

(Proverbs 6:26 NASB)

Sinful lust promises you pleasure, but will cost you so much more pain.

Looking at pornography denies your identity

Those who practice cybersex with demon-possessed destroyers of your wife and life unfortunately share many characteristics of the depraved humans described in the NT:

Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God . . . As a result, their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools. And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere [naked] people . . .

As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. . .

You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things. (Rom 1:21-25; 2:1)

These false teachers are like unthinking animals, creatures of instinct, born to be caught and destroyed. . . They love to indulge in evil pleasures in broad daylight. They are a disgrace and a stain among you. They delight in deception even as they eat with you in your fellowship meals. They commit adultery with their eyes, and their desire for sin is never satisfied. (2 Pet 2:12-14)

So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity . . . It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. (Eph 4:17-19, 5:8, 10-12)

But God’s people do them too.

You are a chosen son of Almighty God! You are an honored warrior of the Lord Jesus Christ. He has paid the penalty for every one of your sins, including every time you look a pornography. You have God living inside of you. You have the most important responsibility on Earth: representing God on Earth. And the Creator of the Universe has chosen and purchased you to live with Him forever in a perfect Paradise.

Why “have [you] exchanged the glory of God for the shame of idols” (Hosea 4:7)! When you look at pornography you lose your glory as a son of God. You forfeit your purpose as a servant of God. You treat the blood of Christ shed for your sins like dirt. And you become more like an animal in heat than a man made in the image of God.

“For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, And an adulteress hunts for the precious life” (Prov 6:26). Sinful lust promises you pleasure, but will cost you so much more pain.

Looking at pornography degrades your body

Some in the Corinthian church were having sex with prostitutes. What he said to them is true of any Christian who looks at pornography:

The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. . .

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” . . .

Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. (1 Cor 6:13-20)

Your body is a sacred temple of God. He lives inside of your body. Your body has been made a part of Christ, you have been united to Him. Your body will be renewed and be your eternal body. So should you unite and bond your body to a wicked, demonic, naked woman used by the Devil to defile you? Should you degrade something as holy as the temple of your body? The Apostle says, “Never!”

And notice that the Apostle says the “affects” of being sexually immoral are worse than the other sins he lists a few verses earlier such as being “thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or [who] are abusive, or cheat people” (1 Cor 6:10). Why is this sin more destructive than others? Because it does something to us. In uniting ourselves with a wicked woman it affects our minds and spirits in a powerful and lasting way. Sexual sin changes us. It defiles us in such a way that is hard to get rid of. Even though we are forgiven for it, we cannot forget it.

John Calvin commented on Paul’s warning:

Defilement does not attach itself to our body from other vices in the same way as it does from fornication. My hand, it is true, is defiled by theft or murder, my tongue by evil speaking, or perjury, and the whole body by drunkenness. But fornication leaves a stain impressed upon the body [and mind and spirit], such as is not impressed upon it from other sins. ^[1]

“For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, And an adulteress hunts for the precious life” (Prov 6:26). Sinful lust promises you pleasure, but will cost you so much more pain.

Looking at pornography will cost you your freedom

Most men think they can simply dabble with pornography and stop anytime they want. But they are ignorant of how addictive pornography can be. No one who ever became addicted to drugs thought they would. But drugs like cocaine have chemical elements that effect the human brain in uncontrollable ways. As a result, if you experiment with cocaine, addiction can happen very easily, is very difficult to avoid, and even more difficult to overcome. This is because a cocaine addiction is a chemical addiction.

Researchers are warning that addiction to pornography works very much like cocaine. It is not simply psychologically addictive, but like cocaine, it does something in your brain to make you emotionally dependent on it. Dr. Kleponis explains:

As with any other drug, a tolerance eventually develops. More of the drug is needed to get the same effect. . . The reason why a tolerance develops is very simple. The brain is enjoying the effects from large amounts of dopamine, but the rest of the body realizes that this is not normal. The brain should not be releasing so much dopamine, so the body decides to shut off the dopamine.

Because the brain loves the dopamine so much, the man must consume more extreme forms of pornography and in greater amounts to keep it coming. Thus, the tolerance is really the body’s natural defense mechanism.

Along with tolerance, the man will also develop a dependence on pornography. At this point, it isn’t about the good feelings he gets from viewing pornography. Now he needs it just to get through daily life. The brain has become so accustomed to operating at such a high level of chemical stimulation that it needs to maintain that level just to function.

If the man doesn’t get his fix, he experiences withdrawal symptoms including depression, anxiety, insomnia, irritability, headaches, stomach aches, difficulty concentrating, etc. This accounts for the compulsion a man feels to use pornography regularly. He may desperately want to stop using pornography, but can’t. ^[2]

The sheer psychological power and chemical intensity of pornography create an extraordinary level of stimulation that your brain was never created to experience on a regular basis. Because of this, the brain of a man regularly using porn can change and shape itself to resemble neuropathways similar to those of an alcoholic or drug addict.

Christian author C. S. Lewis illustrated Satan’s design in this when he wrote from the perspective of the demon Screwtape:

An ever-increasing craving for an ever-diminishing pleasure is the formula. It is more certain; and it’s better style. To get the man’s soul and give him nothing in return—that is what really gladdens our Father’s [Satan’s] heart. ^[3]

Accordingly, Solomon warned his sons in the context of sexual sin: “An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his great foolishness.” (Prov 5:22-23). Pornography is an especially addictive sin. And if you get addicted, it will become a very destructive sin. And imagine for a moment what a pornography addiction would be like. Daily feeling the need to degrade yourself with those demon-possessed destroyers of your wife and life. Daily feeling intense guilt about such a demeaning and gross sin. Daily feeling intense fear that you will not be able to stop. And being afraid that you are going to be caught.

Looking at pornography will cost you your ministry

The Apostle Paul wrote to a young man who wanted to serve God in ministry:

If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work. Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. (2 Tim 2:21-22)

If you have a desire to serve Christ in ministry, you cannot be a sexually immoral person who cannot control their lust. The Devil will make sure to use it against you and embarrass the Church and the ministry, as he did with Ted Haggard. God knows our lives and He only wants pure vessels working for Him because sinful people are not safe servants.

Looking at pornography will cost you your reputation

Listen carefully to the lie that a demon-possessed destroyer of your wife and life told a young man:

“Come, let’s drink our fill of love until morning. Let’s enjoy each other’s caresses, for my husband is not home. He’s away on a long trip. He has taken a wallet full of money with him and won’t return until later this month.” (Prov 7:18-20)

What was this wicked woman’s lie to this man in order to entice him to sin with her? You won’t be caught. No one will ever know. This is a favorite of the Devil. He wants you to believe that we can sin with willing, wicked, women on the Internet and never have to suffer the shame, embarrassment, and pain of having your wife, children, and friends know.

But the belief that no one will see is a lie. There are at least two persons who will see you sin with lust and at least one is highly motivated to expose you. Your enemy the Devil is not satisfied with merely enslaving you to the pleasure of his demon-possessed destroyers of your wife and life. He also wants to publicly embarrass and expose you because his ultimate goal is to destroy you. He wants your sin to be “secret” in order to get you hooked on lust. And then he wants to work so your sin becomes public and inflicts on you and others the most pain possible.

Do you understand that there is a supernatural and hateful being wanting everyone to know about your sin? And the only reason it hasn’t happened is that God has mercifully protected you. So far. Will you continue to trample on His grace and His willingness to deny the Devil his desire to expose and shame you? If you do, do not be surprised if even God your Father works to expose your sin in order to discipline you and help you stop. And that’s a scary thought. Both God and the Devil united to make sure your sin is no longer secret.

Solomon warned his sons that if they did not heed his warnings about sexual immorality, that they would end up crying:

“How I hated discipline! If only I had not ignored all the warnings! Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers? Why didn’t I pay attention to my instructors? I have come to the brink of utter ruin, and now I must face public disgrace.” (Prov 5:12-14)

Imagine your wife and children knowing that you have masturbated over pornography. We mean it. Take a moment to play that scene out in your mind. And then imagine trying to convince them you are still a man they can trust and respect. If they do not yet know, then know that their Father has been protecting them too.

Your sexual desires are like a fire. If you keep it in the fireplace of marriage if will not only be safe, but be a pleasure and blessing. But if you let that fire burn outside the fireplace of your marriage, it becomes dangerous and destructive. Stop playing with a fire that can burn your whole house down!

One counselor shares an example:

Rob walked into his supervisor’s office for what he thought was a conversation about fixing a scheduling conflict with a major client. When his supervisor asked him to take a seat, he realized this conversation was going to be more serious.

“I need you to take a look at these,” his boss said, clearing his throat as he pushed a half-inch stack of paper across the desk. He was caught totally off guard. Rob looked at the top page and immediately his face turned hot and his heart pounded like a bass drum in his chest. Slumping in the chair, he let out an expletive and sighed.

Staring back at him was over six months of Internet history exposing his porn use on the company computer. The proof before him was undeniable.

Next Rob’s boss pushed a copy of the company’s Internet usage agreement across the desk, which explicitly prohibited viewing pornographic material during company time and on company computers. The agreement, bearing Rob’s signature, stipulated immediate termination for anyone violating the policy.

Numb, Rob walked out of his supervisor’s office, emptied his desk, and joined the ranks of the unemployed—all because of porn. The sting of Rob’s shame ran deep. First, he felt the shame of looking at porn—the embarrassment at being caught, the humiliation of being fired from his job, and mortification at the thought of having to tell his wife that he was fired . . . and why. ^[4]

You can avoid all this pain if you will obey God and: “Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Cor 6:18). “For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, And an adulteress hunts for the precious life” (Prov 6:26). Sinful lust promises you pleasure, but will cost you so much more pain.

► Return to the beginning and answer the questions there.

► Recite Proverbs 6:26 from memory.

1. Calvin’s Commentaries, online at http://www.studylight.org/commentaries/cal.html. ↑
2. Kleoponis, Loc. 678-686. ↑
3. C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters (New York: HarperCollins, 1946), 106. ↑
4. Reference unavailable. ↑