Your War with Lust: 2 The Hardest Battle God’s Sons Have Ever Fought

Chapter 2

The Hardest Battle God’s Sons Have Ever Fought

Denying sinful lust in this modern world is arguably the most difficult command God has ever given

Proverbs 7:26

Week 1

► For a God Time use the “P.O.W.E.R. Plan” in Appendix A.

► After reading this chapter, answer the following questions:

1) What are some ways men are created that makes sinful lust an especially powerful temptation for them?

2) We claim that denying the temptation of sinful lust in this modern world is arguably the most difficult command God the Father has ever given to His sons. What do you think?

3) We claim sex is not a need for a man. Do you agree or disagree?

4) We claim the battle that men fight against lust today is more dangerous than the physical battles fought in the OT. What do you think?

5) How do we define real success for the Christian man in this world? What do you think?

6) What was especially meaningful to you in this chapter? Why?

King Solomon knew a lot about sex. “He had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines” (1 Kings 11:3 NASB). That is 1000 women available to have sex with you! But as we will see in the next chapter, he greatly regretted his sexual immorality. And it was because of the bondage, pain, and emptiness he experienced, that he warned his sons.

Solomon devoted his first seven Proverbs to his sons. You might expect he would cover a large variety of subjects including working hard, getting an education, and serving God. But over half of everything he addressed to his sons in those seven Proverbs was devoted to one thing. Really, one warning: Do not commit sexual sin. He pleaded with his sons, regarding “an immoral woman” (Prov 7:8):

She has been the ruin of many; many men have been her victims. (Prov 7:26)

Denying the temptation of sinful lust in this modern world is arguably the most difficult command God the Father has ever given to His sons.

In the previous chapter, we looked at the Lord’s challenging command: “I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt 5:28). Likewise, the Apostle Paul communicated God’s standard for men when he wrote that “a church leader . . . must be faithful to his wife” (1 Tim 3:2). Literally in Greek Paul was saying that a godly man is a “one woman man.” A man who devotes himself sexually to one woman.

Solomon’s warning above reminds us of how difficult it is for men to obey God’s commands regarding sinful lust. About 3000 years ago, Solomon described how successful men had been in his day against demon-possessed destroyers of your wife and life: “She has been the ruin of many; many men have been her victims.” Solomon used the word “many” twice in this verse, emphasizing it in the original Hebrew.

Since 3000 years ago some things have not changed, like the God-given sexual drive and needs of men. However, other things have changed dramatically, like the availability of demon-possessed destroyers of your wife and life on the Internet. www means world wide web to the world. But for the Christian man www means willing, wicked women, because that is the greatest threat the Internet has brought into their lives. www on the Internet have made the difficulty of avoiding the dangers of “an immoral woman” increase exponentially. If Solomon thought “many men have been her victim” 3000 years ago, what would he say today?

The list of men who have been “victims” of sexual immorality include kings, presidents, and far, far too many Pastors. These men were all greatly ashamed of their sin and deeply regretted it. “She has been the ruin of many; many men have been her victims” (Prov 7:26). Denying the temptation of sinful lust in this modern world is arguably the most difficult command God the Father has ever given to His sons.

The pull of pleasure

Why are demon-possessed destroyers of your wife and life such a powerful temptation? Elsewhere in the Christian Essentials we wrote:

Enjoyment is the God-given need of experiencing pleasure. Some may think this is a sinful desire. But God created you with the need for enjoyment. Your need for it is demonstrated by how many things you seek to experience pleasure. And how much you do to avoid its opposites of pain, boredom, and depression. ^[1]

Likewise, we have illustrated the potential sinful power of pleasure in the life of David:

King David was at the highest point of his life. “The king was settled in his palace and the LORD had given him rest from all his surrounding enemies” (2 Sam 7:1). “David reigned over all Israel, doing what was just and right for all his people . . . and David’s sons were priests” (2 Sam 8:15, 18).

He was so blessed by the goodness of God for him that “King David went into the temple and sat before the LORD and prayed, ‘Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?’” (2 Sam 7:18). God had given David almost Heaven on Earth.

But then everything changed because: “One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of his palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful” (2 Sam 11:2). He desired this woman so much that this godly and very blessed man sinned with her and murdered her husband to cover it up (cf. 2 Sam 11). Why? To experience pleasure.

This is the same reason for the very first sin in the world. And Eve really did have Heaven on Earth. A perfect place, a perfect husband, and a perfect life in an intimate and blessed relationship with God. But then everything changed because of something she saw too. “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it” (Gen 3:6). In a Garden offering her immense pleasures, even from food, Eve violated the only command God had given her. Why? To get one more pleasure.

The greatest human king and the first human sin illustrate the immense power of our God-given need for pleasure. And the deceptive and disastrous effects of trying to experience it apart from God. Your Dad wants to provide your need for pleasure in truly satisfying ways, instead of frustrating and sinful ways. ^[2]

At the heart of our struggle with sexual immorality is the desire for sexual pleasure. The Bible admits, and we must all admit, that sexual immorality is among those, “fleeting pleasures of sin” (Heb 11:25). It is indeed always “fleeting.” But it offers one of the most intense pleasures available on Earth.

This is why pornography has been called one of the most powerful drugs in the world, and producers of it are among the foremost drug dealers in the world. “Modern science allows us to understand that the underlying nature of an addiction to pornography is chemically nearly identical to a heroin addiction.” ^[3]

And this desire is significantly stronger in men than women, which is why the temptation for sexual immorality is especially great for men. Denying the temptation of sinful lust in this modern world is arguably the most difficult command God the Father has ever given to His sons. “She has been the ruin of many; many men have been her victims” (Prov 7:26).

Sinful lust is primarily a struggle and sin for men

Jesus said, “But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Jesus’ language makes it clear that He intentionally directed this command toward heterosexual men. Why? Because God made men with a significantly higher sex drive, and greater vulnerability for lust, than women.

A recent study of college students found that young men thought of sex about 20 times per day. In fact, they thought of sex more often than food. ^[4] Granted, the results were probably distorted because they were young men, living among a lot of young women, and having very few responsibilities. Still, this gives us some idea of how much young men struggle in this area.

Women have been found to think a lot more about food than sex. So if a woman wants some idea of a man’s sex drive, they can ask themselves how often they think of eating. And of course, women can sin in the area of eating in order to meet emotional needs in their life. Men will view pornography for the same reason. It’s just that eating “comfort food” is not as disgusting and destructive as viewing pornography.

God gave men a hormonal process that women do not have. As semen collects in their testicles, it sends signals to their brain saying it is time to have sex. When the testicles are full, men’s minds are significantly more sensitive to sexual stimulation. “For most men, this buildup to heightened sexual desire takes only about seventy-two hours.” ^[5]

In fact, God has provided a biological way for men to release semen if they are not doing so through sex. One book explains:

What are you going to do with the sexual pressure you sometimes feel? First of all, you have to take by faith that once you get your eyes and mind under control, the sexual pressure will drop off dramatically. You bring most of the sexual pressure onto yourself through visual sensual stimulation and mental fantasy.

Even so, there remains the male seventy-two-hour cycle of sperm production. Without the impurity of the eyes, the pressure generated by lust is gone, but there’s still a natural physical pressure for release, though much weaker. “What am I going to do about that?” you might ask. “How will I get release?” God has supplied the way of release, something with which you’re familiar. Clinically it’s called “nocturnal emissions” [also known as] . . . a “wet dream.”

The good news for singles is that nocturnal emissions can work for you in your quest for purity. (They also can work for married guys who aren’t as sexually active as they would like to be.) You may wonder how such dreams will work toward purity. After all, some of these dreams are pretty hot and heavy! But those hot and heavy aspects arise from what you’re putting into your mind each day. The same pure eyes and mind that keep you from actively seeking release during the day will limit the impurity that your mind can use in dreams at night. Even these dreams will be dramatically purer in scope and content. ^[6]

A man’s natural sex drive is so powerful, that is can only be eliminated by two extraordinary means. Castration or a supernatural gift from God. Jesus speaks of both options (cf. Matt 19:10-12). The Apostle Paul described the second (cf. 1 Cor 7:5-6). Otherwise, if a man does not have a desire for sex with a woman, there is something wrong with him. Some are tempted to think that a man’s desire for sex with a woman is perverted, but actually its absence is a perversion of God’s Creation.

Sex is a huge part of a man’s life. It is at the core of his sense of masculinity and normally his favorite source of pleasure. Remember, most of them think about it more than food. It is not just bad men who have higher sex drives. Good and godly men do too. It is how God made men.

Unfortunately, like everything else in this world, God’s design and intentions have been perverted. Beautiful, scantily clad women are used to sell products to men because it works. Recent statistics on the use of pornography demonstrate that Jesus’ warning about lust was rightly directed to men. According to one study, men are 6 times more likely to view pornography on the Internet than women. ^[7] Another study indicates that 10 times as many men are addicted to porn, compared to women. ^[8] Is sinful lust predominantly a male problem? Absolutely.

Sinful lust is a sin with the eyes

God generally gave men a much higher sex drive than women. This would make the challenge of sexual purity in this world hard enough. But there is something else unique about men that makes this struggle even more difficult. They are stimulated by what they see. This is why Job said about 4000 years ago, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman” (Job 31:1). Likewise, Solomon warned: “Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes. (Prov 6:25 NIV). Jesus also pointed at a man’s eyes when He said, “anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt 5:28), but through his eyes.

Women are generally more stimulated by touch and even conversation. But a man’s most sensitive sex organ is his eyes. Men are simply stunned at even a glimpse of a naked woman, let alone one who is willing to fully display herself. Seeing skin in the right places on a woman’s body melts their senses. The nakedness of a woman shocks them into submission. The sight of a woman’s body parts intoxicates them like a drug. And because sexual experience is so much about the eyes for a man, seeing pornography feels like having sex with a woman.

Which is why the skin, nakedness, and body parts you are being stunned, melted, and intoxicated by had better be your wife’s. Your Father wants you to commit your eyes to His daughter. With her these things are holy, loving, and fulfilling. A blessed source of the pleasure God wants to give you in life. But apart from your wife, these same automatic, natural, often overwhelming responses and sensations are dirty, selfish, and cruel because they can never be satisfied outside of marriage.

Therefore, not only does a man have a significantly higher sex drive than a woman, but a man does not need to know or touch a woman to be tempted to lust. He just has to see her. Which makes the multimedia, Internet world we live in a very dangerous place for the Christian man.

Denying the temptation of sinful lust in this modern world is arguably the most difficult command God the Father has ever given to His sons. “She has been the ruin of many; many men have been her victims” (Prov 7:26).

► Return to the beginning and answer the questions there.

► Recite Matthew 5:27-28 from memory.

► Memorize Proverbs 7:26 in the translation above or another.

1. FOUNDATIONS, chapter 2.11. ↑

2. FAITH, chapter 3.22. ↑

3. Porn and Your Brain at http://www.covenanteyes.com. ↑

4. “How Often to Men and Women Think about Sex,” Psychology Today at http://www.psychologytoday.com ↑

5. Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, Every Man’s Battle: Every Man’s Guide to Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (Crown Kindle Edition, 2000), p. 30. ↑

6. Ibid., p. 64. ↑

7. “Porn Addiction in America,” (Dec 30, 2013) online at http://christianpost.com. ↑

8. “How Often to Men and Women Think about Sex.” ↑