FOUNDATIONS: 7 God’s Love Through God’s People

Kayla had a pretty rough childhood. Her father was an alcoholic and her mother a drug addict. She was taken from her parents at a young age and lived in foster homes. But she was treated badly there too. And she had boyfriends who said they loved her but after using her had left her. In essence, Kayla had never experienced what love really was. Until she became a Christian.

Of course she appreciated understanding how much God loved her. But the acceptance, kindness, and respect she was treated with in her church was life changing. The girls her age were not competing with her for attention. The boys in the church treated her like a real sister instead of a possible “date.” And there was an older couple in the church who adopted her like she was their own daughter. For the first time in Kayla’s life she was experiencing real love and what a church is supposed to be like. She could say “Amen” to what the Apostle John wrote:

No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.

(1 John 4:12)

We experience God’s love through God’s people.

Experiencing the love of God through the people of God

The Apostle John stated that no human “has ever seen God.” But there is a way that people even now can “see” and experience God. “If we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.” You can experience God and His love through the love of another Christian!

In the previous chapter we noted that you do not learn God’s love only from reading about it in Scripture. Even more so, you become convinced of God’s love by experiencing it. And one of the most life changing ways you come in contact with the amazing love of God is through the amazing love of other Christians.

How then do you experience the unconditional love of God? When a Christian simply chooses to befriend you without knowing anything about you. How do you experience His grace and patience? When you sin against a Christian and they immediately and completely forgive you. How do you experience the kindness of God? When a Christian simply serves you and helps you without expecting anything in return. How do you experience the generosity of God? When a Christian sacrificially gives to you with joy.

Of course there are Christians and churches that do not demonstrate the love of God very well. Many of them are actually fake Christians and they hurt God’s people instead of help them. But God wants you to have friendships and a marriage with real Christians who let God’s love live through them.

You will learn in some of the following chapters of this study that God never intended another human being to fulfill your deepest needs for love. God created you to only be fully satisfied with Him, and not mere people. However, experiencing God’s love through God’s people is a tremendous blessing that God wants you to enjoy.

The power of love (or lack of love) through people is demonstrated by how much you are affected by your parents. In the next study you will be reminded of how much you interpret love from God by how you were loved by your parents. The love of good parents has a very good effect on your whole life. The lack of love from your parents has a very bad effect on your life. This is because of the power of love (or lack of it) through people.

“No one has ever seen God” nor touched Him. But when a Christian loves you, you are seeing the very face of God and being touched by Him. “No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us” (1 John 4:12). We experience God’s love through God’s people.

Experiencing God’s love through your love language

Love is love, right? Not exactly. Experience and research have determined that people communicate and receive love differently. This has become widely known as “The 5 Love Languages.” ^[1] These are how you most like to experience love from others and express love to others. The 5 Love Languages are:

Words of Affirmation: Experiencing and expressing love through spoken affection, praise, or appreciation. Examples include someone saying “I love you,” or praising you for your appearance, an accomplishment, or something about you, or receiving a loving note, text, or email for no special reason.

Acts of Service: Experiencing and expressing love through helpful actions rather than words. Examples include someone doing practical, even unexpected things for you, especially when you are tired, taking care of something you are responsible for but you do not have the time to do, or doing something practical for you, even though they don’t really enjoy it.

Receiving Gifts: Experiencing and expressing love through receiving and giving thoughtful gifts. This includes surprise gifts and simple gifts that just say someone was thinking about you, and gifts that require a lot of thought and effort.

Quality Time: Experiencing and expressing love through sincere and focused attention. This includes spending time alone talking, having uninterrupted leisure time together, just “hanging out,” laughing together, someone taking the time to really listen and understand your feelings, and someone showing sincere interest in something you care about.

Physical Touch: Experiencing and expressing love through physical contact or intimacy. This includes sitting close, holding hands, hugging, kissing, and being physically intimate.

Most people can rather easily identify their primary and secondary love language by just reading the descriptions above. It is not surprising that for men they are usually Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation and for women they are Quality Time and Receiving Gifts. However, any one of “The Five Love Languages” can be the primary love language of a man or the primary love language of a woman.

If you are married, it is of course most helpful to think about how you like your spouse to love you. If you are single, it will probably be most helpful to think about how you most like (or liked) your parents to love you.

If you are having difficulty identifying a love language that is significantly stronger than others, there are some questions that can be asked. First, what does your spouse (or parent) do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply? The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your love language. Secondly, what have you most often requested from your spouse (or parent)? The thing you have most often requested is likely the thing that would make you feel most loved. Thirdly, in what way do you most like to show love to your spouse (or parent)? Your favorite way of expressing love to others, is probably what would also make you feel the most love.

It is important to know your love language(s). For example, your spouse may constantly serve you in your home thinking they are communicating love to you. But if you experience love more through someone sitting with you and talking with you, then you will not feel loved. If you only speak English and someone says to you, “Wǒ ài nǐ,” what do you feel? Probably confused and certainly not loved. But if your language is Chinese, you hear (and feel) “I love you.” Therefore, it is important to know your love language and the love language of those you want to love.

Spend some time considering the above and determine your love language(s). We would encourage you to share this with your spouse if you are married, or perhaps your parents and friends if you are not married. You can also use the above to determine the love language of others so you can love them more effectively. However, this will be discussed more in Christian Essentials studies #5 & #6: FRUIT and FAMILIES.

The focus here is how you experience God’s love through others. Encouraging those close to you to love you in the way you best experience love will help you do that.

Before leaving this topic, it is worth noting how your love language(s) may affect how you experience and express love in your relationship with God. If your love language is Words of Affirmation, you may be especially encouraged by the promises in Scripture that are discussed in Christian Essentials study #3: FAITH. And you may especially enjoy praising and worshipping God, expressing appreciation to Him.

If your love language is Acts of Service, you may be especially touched when you experience God working in and around your life, particularly in answer to your prayers. Likewise, you will probably enjoy loving God the most by serving Him in practical ways.

If your love language is Receiving Gifts, you may especially appreciate the gifts from God discussed Christian Essentials study #3: FAITH. These include your unique personality and spiritual gifting. Likewise, you might especially enjoy giving your resources to God.

If your love language is Quality Time, you may be especially fulfilled by spending time alone with God. Likewise, this will probably be one of your favorite ways of loving God.

The love language of Physical Touch is the one that cannot be experienced in your relationship with God on this Earth. But perhaps we will experience His physical embrace when we live with Him in eternity.

“No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us” (1 John 4:12). We experience God’s love through God’s people.

► Return to the beginning and answer the questions there.

► Recite 2 Cor 5:14 from memory.

► Memorize 1 John 4:12 in the translation above or another.

► Complete Project 2F on the next page.

“The Five Love Languages” are better described in the book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts (Moody, 2015). If you have access to the Internet you can take an online test for “The Five Love Languages” at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/. ↑